Weeping Women Hotel by Alexei Sayle

Author:Alexei Sayle
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: General, Fiction
ISBN: 9781848948112
Publisher: Hachette UK
Published: 2007-05-17T11:08:11.843000+00:00

Toby typed ‘surplus computer leads’ into his Brother P-Touch 2000 Label Maker then pressed the ‘Print’ button. He watched as the slender label spooled out of the machine, next he chopped off the label with the built-in guillotine and peeling off the sticky back stuck it on to the front of a drawer in his office desk filled with leads for various obsolete computers that would never ever be used again.

Then he sat back wondering what to do next. One thing about being a drunk, empty hours had never been a problem when he drank because of course you filled them with being drunk. You never had to think what to do when you were out of your head and every decision you made seemed brilliant at the time though not necessarily afterwards. Sure his life was better in many ways now: he had his Brother P-Touch 2000 Label Maker for a start which he loved more than nearly anything else. He loved the Brother P-Touch 2000 Label Maker so much that he kept one at home and another here in his office, though he’d never told each about the other’s existence in case they got jealous. Toby loved to figure out exactly what a thing was, then label it —already that morning he’d done the separate shelves in his cupboard, ‘Rejection Letters’ he’d printed out in rather nice black on silver, then switching to black outline on white he’d typed ‘Refusal Letters’ and ‘Lost Research Application Form Letters’.

Then just as suddenly his fragile, happy mood dissipated; it occurred to Toby that if he could just figure out what precisely his feelings were for his sister-in-law and label them, then maybe he’d feel a bit less miserable such a lot of the time. He had no doubt that his recent agitation was connected with the sudden and unexpected alteration in Harriet’s appearance: who’d have thought Big Fat Hat was a stunner underneath all that blubber? Then perhaps the label should read ‘Confused Feelings Created by Relative’s Sudden and Unexpected Beauty’.

Looking back, Toby realised that he’d succeeded for quite a long time in deliberately not noticing what was happening to Helen’s sister but when she’d come round to the house to babysit the other night, when she’d done that little turn in front of him in their hallway, turning and twisting her wonderful body, he could no longer ignore the fact that over the last few months his sister-in-law had gone from being a huge fat ugly blob to someone who was on their way to looking absolutely ravishing. He’d genuinely thought he was going to faint in the hall like a Victorian lady.

So maybe the label should be ‘Sexual Desire for Close Relative Like in Family on Leeds Council Estate’. It wasn’t just her appearance though. That was only a part of it, though certainly her features were beautiful — her caramel skin flawless, her eyes sparkling and bright, her black hair lustrous — but more than that there was

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.